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Not a Victim

Please join me by reading the daily meditation from “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie and share your thoughts in the comment space provided at the end of this post (Click on the Read More button to read the complete thought for the day).

As a young girl and even into early adulthood I had a very bad case of “Cinderella Syndrome”.  I saw myself as a victim due to my life’s circumstances.  We were  poor and my parents divorced when I was in the third grade.  My father had custody of us and I experienced years of neglect and abuse.

The greatest abuse came at the hand of my first stepmother.  I felt lost, alone and very much as a victim. I found that I could survive this plight by working very hard for her and other adults and not complain about my station in life.

As I matured, I attempted to find my Prince Charming to rescue me from the pain and loneliness that I lived with.  That was when I learned that no man, not even my Prince Charming could save me from my beliefs about myself.  In point of fact, as long as I saw my self as Cinderella, I found that I attached myself to people who would repeat the neglect and abuse that I experienced as a child.  Unsure of what to do about this realization, I continued to work very hard for others as a way to find acceptance and a sense of worth.

Life taught me that no matter how hard I worked, I could not change the way people treated me.  It was that realization that allowed me to eventually take the same energy that I used working to get people to treat me as if I mattered and I began working on me.  It turns out that I was a good investment.

The harder I worked on myself the more I changed and healed from the past abuse and neglect.  This was due in part to the fact that I stopped neglecting my needs, wants and feelings.  I stopped tolerating abusive relationships.  I showed myself the kind of care, compassion and love that for most of my life I attempted to get others to show me.

Eventually, I could no longer see myself as the unwanted stepdaughter.  It was the lose of that identity of myself as a victim that lead me to redefine my life.  I gained the power to manifest my dreams and I became the princess that I had always longed to be.  For years I lived as a true princess.  Then life taught me that love is not what you have or who you have around you.  Instead, love is a way of seeing beauty in everything around you no matter where you live or who you live with.

Today:  I will remember to appreciate the beauty all around and within me as I allow love to direct my life.

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Diana Smith, PhD, LPC-MH owns and operates Serenity Mental Health Services and is licensed by the National Board of Certified Counselors. License number is LPC-MH2025 and she follows the ethical guidelines described by the NBCC found at their web site Diana is a member of the National Board for Certified Counselors, Certification Number 43911. In addition, she is also a member of the American Counseling Association, Member ID# 5140627. Online counseling can help you right now. Research has made it clear that this manner of offering therapy is effective and those who’ve experienced it have said they would seek it out again.

Dr. Diana is an APA (American Psychological Association) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) approved Therapist in Training.